Rhiyah's Rambles

Title: Ultima Ratio - The Last Argument
Game: Dragon Age 2
Pairing: Warrior f!Hawke/Fenris
Characters: Warrior f!Hawke/Fenris, Sebastian, Anders, Varric, Meredith, Orsino
Raiting: T
Wordcount: 2200
Summary: The Kirkwall chantry lies in ruin, Hawke must decide the fate of Anders, and decide which cause to champion. (BAD pun I know, I couldn't resist!)

Warnings: Major character death, End game spoilers, slight deviation from in-game scene but not AU.

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Life and death are important. Don’t suffer them in vain. - Bodhidharma

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 Stepping between Meredith and Anders, Hawke pulled her sword from the scabbard strapped to her back. The smoke and heat from the explosion made the air heavy and hard to breathe. Her nose burned from the ash and soot that floated on in the wind. With stinging eyes she held her ground, staring at the angry Templar Knight Commander, waiting for the other woman to make her move.

Orsino said nothing and just watched the two women with trepidation and took a step backwards in an effort to remove him from the arc of any potentially swinging blades.

 “Champion,” Meredith bit out in a terse breath. “You will not stand between that apostate and justice!”

Hawke raised an eyebrow at the Knight Commander. “And you’ll not take him in revenge.”

Sebastian gasped and shouted; “Hawke! You can’t mean to spare him.”

Without taking her eyes from Meredith’s hostile glare, Hawke bared her teeth. Calmly, without any emotion she declared: “Stay out of this, Sebastian.”

“No, I shall not! He murdered all of those innocent people. Their blood is on his hands!”

Hawke saw movement from the corner of her eye and as she turned her gaze to her companions she saw Varric place a hand on Sebastian’s arm in warning. The displaced prince just shook it off and took a step toward her.

Grasping the hilt of her sword firmly in both hands, Hawke swung it around to point at Sebastian. Looking down the length of the blade, she met his eyes. “I said to stay out of it, Vael. I do not want to cut you down, but I shall with no hesitation. For the last time, shut up and let me deal with this situation.”

Sebastian just glowered at her for long moment. Something in her expression or the tone of her voice must have convinced him to heed her command because he nodded jerkily and moved back to stand with the others.

“Decide, Champion.” Meredith raised her chin as she threw her ultimatum at Hawke. “Do you stand with the Chantry and the Templars on the side of justice? Or will you lie down with renegades and murderers?”

The wind picked up at that moment and ash swirled around the Knight Commander like heavy black snowflakes. For a brief instant, the sun broke through the haze to illuminate Meredith in an eerie beam of light. The menacing aura of dark motes around her head made her the antithesis of the holy images of Andraste.

Hawke looked into Meredith’s cold, blue eyes and saw madness. The woman was clearly not in her right mind. Frustrated by the stupidity of both the templars and the mages, wondering how the hell she always ended up in the middle of these things, Hawke seethed in silence.

Anger roiled in her gut and she felt as if her stomach was tied into a million knots. There was to be no peace this day and she knew that many more people would lose their lives for naught but revenge and hatred, be it misplaced or well deserved.

“I like not either of those choices Meredith, as you clearly are aware. However heinous my fellow companion’s actions this day, I can not side with the Templars. Your command to slaughter all the mages in fear is no more just or right in the eyes of the Maker than Anders’ decision to blow the chantry to the Fade.”

She heard Meredith’s hiss of outrage but she ignored it. Sebastian was muttering loud enough to be heard but not understood; she could hear his armor squeak in protest as he started to pace angrily. She felt rather than saw Anders shift behind her.

“I do not condone the rebellion of the Circle, but I understand being trapped with no alternatives, and I can sympathize with their plight.” Hawke thought of how Bethany died before they even left Ferelden and she was suddenly glad that her sister had at least been spared the horror of the Kirkwall Circle. This place was nothing like their protected Lothering, where the Templars were wont to look the other way provided mages did not make a nuisance of themselves.

“Meredith, something must be done to level the balance to neutral or this cycle will turn upon itself eternally, pitting mage against Templar until the end of days. All life is sacred, not just yours or mine, or even Elthina’s, but also the lives of mages, however dangerous they can be. We are all the Maker’s children. It is not your place, nor is it the Chantry’s, to decide who shall live and who shall die based on the nature of their birth. That is the province of the Maker and I don’t believe he has given you permission to decide in his stead.”

“You’ve chosen poorly, Champion.” Meredith squinted and then motioned to the templars standing behind her. “You will fall along with the rest of these abominations.” With that parting remark the Knight Commander and her templars turned heel and made for The Gallows.

Sighing heavily, Hawke slowly sheathed her sword and then turned to Orsino. “We need to make haste to The Gallows but first I must resolve this…” she gestured feebly then continued, “situation with Anders.”

The First Enchanter lowered his head in a single nod of assent.

Sebastian immediately turned from his pacing and started towards her. “Good, that abomination must pay for his crimes!” He pointed at Anders angrily, his upper lipped curled in disgust. He was so intent on voicing his grievances that he never saw the hand coming. The loud, ringing slap echoed off the walls around them.

In shock, he drew himself up to stare incredulously at Hawke, who furiously pushed him backwards.

“How dare you! You puffed up, pompous, sanctimonious asshole! How do you even dare to talk to me like that? That abomination has saved both of our hides numerous times. That abomination has been a friend to you even as you viewed him with derision and venom. I don’t know how you do things in Starkhaven, Prince Sebastian, but in Ferelden we don’t throw our friends out with the morning chamber pots!”

Breathing heavily, Hawke continued to advance on him until his back was flat against the wall behind him. Her face was streaked with soot and the ash that was falling from the sky. She appeared feral, truly more dangerous than he’d ever seen her before. For a moment he felt a pang of fear.

Pushing against his chest once more, leaving dirty streaks from her hands on the white metal breastplate she leaned in close to his face and whispered fiercely; “Do not make this any harder on me, Sebastian Vael. You know well how important you all are to me. I know what I need to do and I shall do it. But I will absolutely not tolerate goading or pressure from you in the process. There may be no love lost between you and Anders, but if you care at all about me, you’ll stand here, be a good little choir boy and stay quiet.” She briefly caressed the cheek she’d slapped and turned away from him.

Thoroughly shamed, Sebastian looked at the ground but thankfully said nothing more.

Anders was sitting on an upturned crate, his back to everyone. She placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. He reached up and laid his hand over hers. “It’s okay Hawke. I am prepared to die.”

Hawke walked around him and leaned down to rest her head atop his. Her heart was breaking. This is where it would begin. First Anders and then she wondered which of her companions would fall next. It was like the escape from Ferelden all over again. How many would she lose this time?

“Why Anders? Why would you do such a thing?”

Hawke’s ragged breathing stirred a few lose wisps of hair on his forehead. Sighing at the raw pain in her voice, he drew a breath to answer her when she placed a finger over his lips.

“It doesn’t matter now, though, does it? It is done. And now it is left to me to deal with the hands that wrought such devastation, the very same hands that have healed without question and brought countless babes into this wretched, wretched world.”

Silence stretched long moments and Hawke struggled not to cry. Now was not the time. When Bethany had fallen to the darkspawn there had been no time to grieve. She must be strong today and save the grieving for tomorrow, if there was a tomorrow.

“You know that you’ll become a martyr, don’t you? The mages will talk of your actions this day for years, if not ages to come.” She reached up and smoothed her thumb along his cheek.

“That’s not why I did it, Hawke.”

She heard him swallow and she nodded against his head. “I know. Is there anyone I can send word to for you? Or… anything you’d like me to do for you?”

Anders looked up into her eyes and slowly shook his head. “There is no one else. But… there is something you can do.”

Hawke backed up as he stood in front of her and he looked down into her puzzled face. He felt his face form a small smile though he didn’t know how, he was already dead inside.

“Anything, Anders. What is it?” Hawke asked earnestly.

He slowly felt around inside his robe and withdrew the Tevinter chantry amulet she’d given him all those years ago. Reaching up he placed it over her head and laying his hand over where it lay on her chest, he could feel her heart beating.

“It is good that you chose him. I can see that now. He can take care of you like you deserve. This would be harder for you if we…” He swallowed again. She opened her mouth to speak but he shushed her.

“Will you kiss me? Just kiss me, one time, like you kiss him. Like you mean it? As if you loved me?”

Hawke looked stricken as she softly whispered his name. He felt foolish for begging for her affections and sinful that in the face of his actions, standing at the edge of the destruction he wrought, all he wanted was her love and forgiveness.

Anders’ eyes were pleading and desperate as she stared into them. She felt her eyes welling up as she took his head into her hands, cradling him with care and tenderness. Trying to put every feeling she had for him into her actions, she brushed her lips against his once and then a second time.

He opened his mouth when Hawke nipped at his bottom lip and then her tongue swept into a tangle with his own. She felt so right in his arms, better than he had ever imagined in all those many nights he lay, alone in the clinic, thinking of her and wondering how she would feel pressed against his body. Although she didn’t say the words her kiss felt like a benediction and absolution wrapped into one.

After another moment Hawke drew forth the courage to do what she must. Tears streamed down her face and it felt as if her heart was being ripped apart. Pulling her head back just a bit she whispered against his lips: “I love you, Anders.” Then with a quick snap and much force she broke the fragile bones in his neck.

All of his weight fell onto her then and she struggled until Fenris was there, beside her, carefully taking Anders into his arms and laying him gently on the ground.

Fenris wrapped his arms around Hawke and held her tightly as she sobbed on his shoulder. “You should have let me take care of it,” he rumbled at her, but she just shook her head against him.

“No, Fenris, it had to be me.” She clung to him while she struggled to rein in her emotions. Not the time to grieve, she reminded herself sternly. Looking into his face, she asked quietly: “Are you angry?”

He met her eyes and a slight smile pulled at his lips. “No. I’ve known for a long time that he was in love with you. I did not begrudge him those feelings. What you did was kind and brave.”

“Ah… and what about deciding to stand with Orsino and the Circle?” Suddenly she was fearful that her decision to help the mages would be the thing that finally drove a wedge between them.

She felt his arms tighten around her and he tilted his head to one side, continuing to look at her with his soulful eyes. Chuckling softly, he kissed her forehead and murmured: “You lead me to strange places, Hawke. But your instinct has always been true, and if you think this is the course to take, then I will follow it through beside you.”

“Thank the Maker, because I don’t think I could do this without you, Fenris.”

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